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Ammo Shortage hits poor, minority criminals hit hardest

May 1, 2010

SPRINGFIELD (INN) — While the extreme shortage of ammunition in the past several years has received some media attention, little thought has been given to the impact on some of the product’s most prolific users: the urban thug community. Drug dealers and gang members, used to employing relatively common rounds like 9mm or .45ACP in their TEC-9s and Hi-Points, have joined other gun enthusiasts in being stymied by the empty shelves at Wal-Marts and local gun shops alike. Rivals aren’t going to shoot themselves, however, so active gangbangers do not have the luxury of merely waiting until the shortage is relieved; many have, in desperation, turned to more exotic calibers — pretty much whatever they can get their hands on.
Many gun-related incidents in the area have begun to reflect this trend, as criminals shelve their empty semi-automatic pistols in favor of other weapons with more readily available ammo. Last week, the Kwik-E-Mart on Curtis Drive was robbed by two assailants bearing a .460 Weatherby Magnum elephant gun and a lever-action rifle chambered in .218 Bee. Two days later, a gang shootout in Waverly Hills left a bystander peppered with birdshot from a single-shot Winchester 28-gauge, the same load used by Vice-President Dick Cheney to shoot attorney Harry Whittington.
Jamal Jackson, a veteran Crip who was recently forced to knock over a local liquor store using a flintlock-operated 18th century blunderbuss, has become frustrated with his new weapon’s limitations. “Man, this **** is ****** up,” he observes. “**** these dragoons. Now my******* homies always be**** laughing at me cause I gotta ****** carry all this ****** powder and ****** wadding and ramrods, and ****.” Jackson also expressed his dissatisfaction with the gun’s 2 rounds-per-minute rate of fire, which many gangbangers say is too slow for effective drive-by use, and has contemplated going back to the Confederate Army LeMat ‘grape shot’ revolver he acquired earlier this year for use in ATM muggings.
Hector “Switchblade” Ramirez, on the other hand, is generally satisfied with the 0.577 caliber Snider-Enfield he recently whipped out during a tense drug deal. While the infantry rifle’s 54-inch length poses problems in terms of both concealment and maneuvering in cramped crackhouse hallways, Ramirez enjoys its loud report and says it’s still easier to wield than the .50 caliber Barrett sniper rifle he used in a domestic dispute two weeks ago. He intends to attach a bayonet to the Enfield, increasing its overall length to 70 inches, and to spray-paint all the metal components gold.
Police have condemned the use of such weapons for everyday crimes. Chief Clancy Wiggum recently expressed hope that commonplace robberies and home invasions could be accomplished with simple knives or clubs until conventional ammunition returns to normal availability.

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